Landscape organizes everything within sight.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Where all our best laid plans dissolve into the avatars of sunbeams

Mating habits among subspecies homo sapiens intellectus, like those of other homo sapiens, vary by climate and social structure, a relationship best understood by elite demographic analysts like the renowned scientists Leo Burnett, Saatchi and Saatchi, Chiat and Day. Through generational studies of sweat reflexes and behavior patterns, researchers have been able to identify systems of behavior corresponding to exposure to climate (the bathing suit) and clan structure (the eight boat). Some research (Balzac 1829) has suggested that long sequestration in libraries (during intellectus's hibernation period) can catalyze reactions such that subjects make high-pitched whining noises and lose the ability to mimic the "laugh" noise required to join in the social rituals known collectively as the "sense of humor." It is the recommendation of this committee that these regressive gene codes be isolated on a cold island with many books and sterilized so as to not contaminate research into the social practices of the mainstream.

Also interesting is how these principles are typically misinterpreted by cross-continental migrating members of subspecies homo sapiens subintellectus, who encountering a local environmental pattern like that of Castro, may express a misinterpretation of their surroundings such as the following recently reported by a New York Accountant who had had his butt pinched one time too many: "All Men Are Hyper Aggressive in San Francisco. San Francisco Must Be the Greatest Dating Pool in the World for Straight Women."


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